Sheep-shank : rope :: Tesseract : space-time

Let's tie a sheep-shank in Time. Yesterday was January 11th. All those other months since the last post are the outside loop that doesn't actually matter to the length anymore. Therefore, let's have no undue fussin'.

You'd think after all that time there'd be stuff to report. Unfortunately this is somehow not the case. If you don't believe me, I'll run through the list of projects and show you what's what.

• An Orange For William is chief on my mind, since we just met about it yesterday. You know how usually after you write something and then let it sit for a week or two or twenty, when you pick it up again it seems pretty terrible? The complete OPPOSITE just happened here, and Orange has never looked more promising. We read through it in its entirety, did some (fairly minor) revisions and are in the process of rewriting 2 chapters. Alex is on the lookout for a publishing agent because in all seriousness, this could go places, but not if we self-publish. If only they made publishing agents with seriously fucked up senses of humor.
  


• Don't Drink The Bleach is stuck. Maybe indefinitely, I don't know. For an unexplained reason I've had a number of people contact me only recently telling me they're super-excited about it, and that devotion from people who didn't even work on it, coupled with the fact that it's a finished film, resparked my personal desire to get it out there. Don't give up hope yet, we haven't forgotten about Bleach. Still, a poke and a prod in the form of an email or a comment telling us we suck at delivering our promises can't hurt our motivation. I've heard that death-threats are doubly effective.
  


• Catchpenny Phoenix is being written. Or at least, that's what I hear. I have it on good authority that it is. So, that about covers it.
  


• Unpublishable Productions hasn't been spoken about out loud in months. Honestly, that's the least of our concerns right now. So who knows.
  

Check back in another 7 months to find that nothing has really changed!

Wait! I mean check back soon to find some totally interesting new stuff written here. Probably not movie/book related, but still, totally interesting. Interesting and fu-u-un.

Keep ooon truckin'!

A Orange For William is our chief project at the moment. Catchpenny Phoenix is being written, and Bleach is fluttering about like a chicken, unable to fly away because of the big ol' injunction that was slapped on it (for the time being).

I'm drawing up a webcomic for Unpublishables to make sure there's an abundance of new content. It's not very attractive, because I'm not very artistic. Still, two of my favorite webcomics are Dinosaur Comics and xkcd, so I'm hoping that having a good storyline with good jokes will make up for the stick figures. They're surprisingly emotive little bastards. Amazing what you can do with mouths and eyebrows.

Part 1 of 3 of AO4W is written, and is in editing as we speak. Part 2 is coming along nicely. Our goal was to have the entire first draft finished by next Wednesday, but it doesn't look like that'll happen, so if we can get part 2 done by then that would be great. Part 3 is the shortest part anyway. It will be done SOON.

We're making sure of that. Last night Ian, Alex and I (as a trio we make up Unpublishable) very nearly died. The accident was narrowly avoided, so no one/anything was injured/damaged, but it left a damn cool set of skid marks on I-95 and put things into perspective. What if we'd died and left all these ideas unfinished? It was like that moment when Stephen King decided to finish the Dark Tower series after getting run over by a truck, only a) we were not on crack and b) we were not run over by a truck. Regardless, we're redoubling efforts on Orange.

We definitely don't use the prefix "giganto-" enough

Semester ends in a week and I can't force myself to buckle down and get these last few assignments DONE. Good lord, it's ridiculous.

Orange is coming along. It's slow going, because I've just got all this shit I have to wade through, but soon enough I'll be sending my stuff along to Alex so we can get this show on the road.

Inspiration strikes: I've started hanging around with someone from Agents, someone who dresses like a 19th century middle-class gentleman, top hat and all. His real-life actions brought to mind an amazing scene for Lord Thaddeus Stillwater. It'll be great.

Dec. 22 approaches; I grow mildly apprehensive as Alex grows calmer. Are we, perhaps, inversely proportional?

While velociraptors were a disappointment, I was recently informed that there existed a relative of the little guys who stood 12 feet tall known as Gigantoraptor. That made my day like you wouldn't believe.

I've fallen into the trap again of perpetuating the geek stereotype on myself. Yes, it's probably the category I fit into best, but I definitely can't be considered a full-blown geek. I tried joining the video game club here, but I was intimidated by the superior geekiness of everyone there. I think that's a good enough indicator that I may be able to interact somewhat normally with society. That is, assuming I can stop sitting people down and making them listen to the "All Your Base" meme, and speaking in LOLcats. At least I managed to shake the smart kid attitude, for the most part.

Does Occam's Razor apply to religion? It kind of makes sense that it would, in an idealistic kind of way. That'd be really nice.

And now for something...

My roommate and I have very different sleep schedules (he's almost always in bed by 12, it's nearly 1:30 and I still have a good deal of work to do). Normally it's fine, because I'm quiet as I do my thing- went out and bought headphones and everything. Only right now I'm having a sneezing fit, and they are becoming increasingly explosive. I may have to evacuate my room, lest he kill me when I finally fall asleep.

Ever notice how sometimes every song ever seems to apply to you? I'm not generally real fussy about lyrics, but sometimes it gets eerie. Is there some psych term for twisting things around so it seems like it applies perfectly when it's actually all in your head? Probably.

I learned recently that velociraptors were only 2 feet tall. You have no idea how bummed out I was. Also: as cool as it is that dinosaurs may have evolved into birds, I've come to the realization that feathered dinosaurs look mad stupid, yo. I want Jurassic Park, dammit.

Orange for William is not moving along...my bad. Once I finish once and for all with Bohr, E. Coli strain 0157:H7, and Terry Eagleton, I really want to get back to it. I revisited the introduction this evening and loved it so much that I was ready to jump back into writing mode, if there wasn't 35% of my grade hanging over my head. Gross. Anyway, soon, hopefully. MARMALADE!

Happy birthday to Bill Nye the Science Guy! Woohoo!

Damn physics

So how about I spent so much time studying for my physics exam and working my physics homework out to perfection that I am now behind in everything else, and it's just gummed everything up entirely? HOW ABOUT IT, man?!

Seriously, plan for tomorrow (since chem lab got canceled) is to clear up this genomics business, write this damn english paper, and get down and dirty with Orange. I need to get a lot of writing done before Alex and I lock ourselves in a room and get high off the oxygen deprivation. It will be the most productive night ever, and you will all marvel in the glory of our final product. The judgment day is approaching...the point where we either realize our own genius, or realize what sad, deluded children we are. Best get crackin.

I realized that I never listen to the radio anymore. The only time I really did at home was when I was driving (which was a substantial chunk of the day, bear in mind), so it feels weird to actually sit down in front of Lappy 2.0 and listen to The Rock 106.9 streaming live, when I already have a playlist of my all-time favorites waiting for me. Who knows what wonderful new jams I may be missing out on?

Tangentially, my brother got into an accident the other day (totally not his fault) and while the other car was pretty much totaled, the Beast was more or less unharmed. Makes my heart burst with pride, it does. Anyway, we got money from the offender's insurance company because of the tiny dent the Beast suffered. It's a testament to the bestial-ness (note that I did not say bestiality) of this vehicle, though, and minor compared to, say, the mark of the hit-and-run of last year, so it's staying, and we get money. Yay money!

I'm realizing now what an awesome idea it was to become a libertarian. While originally I just felt like I identified with the party more than I did the others, as my own beliefs solidify they move closer and closer to those of the party. I identified as a libertarian in a class discussion on Plan B, then felt bad about my lack of concrete knowledge of their platform and looked it up. The result?
"Holy shit! This is me!"

Awesome.

We want to write!

I'm supposed to be writing for Orange, since I do all my class crap in the first half of the week and pretty much just screw around for the second half. Problem is, everything got all screwed up when a Physics exam decided to occur this coming Friday. Normally this would mean nothing; I mean, I haven't studied for any exams yet and I've managed A's for all of them. This one, though, is something else: all kinds of stuff I've never encountered before, and I WILL fail if I don't sit my ass down and get in gear.

Then the weekend was originally slated for writing-time, but I will probably be entertaining company from my high school in the form of one of my close friends who is looking at UConn. Sunday night there is a possibility of writing taking place, but probably during breakdowns between calculating the number of subatomic particles the Enterprise's antimatter thrusters create (actual physics assignment). Then comes the work half of the week again...so, Orange may be delayed. I guess I can understand why webcomic peoples don't always meet their deadlines.

I'm sorry I doubted you, Chris and Kent!

So, how about that Ebola?

It's been a week, technically, since the last post (which is bullshit; it should not become a new day until it's light out! It is NOT Friday yet, dammit!), so I figured I should say something about other things.

We've (Aneta, Alex and myself) come up with a name for our production company: Miniature Carousel Productions. Doesn't it just summon up all kinds of images of tiny plastic horses, tiny tinkling music, and tiny screaming children throwing up everywhere? Love it.

"An Orange For William" is coming along nicely. We've only got the first drafts of a few pages so far, but it's already hilarious. This is going to be something you will want, let there doubt about it.

That's it for us news. Now to me news.

The beginning of this week was less than ideal, since I was up through entire nights doing work. Not cool. It was all made up for, though, by a 10-hour powernap today. I have been in an indefatigable mood ever since; I'm so content it almost hurts.

I discovered about a week ago that the entire guy's wing of our floor plays Starcraft. (It's curious; most of them aren't what people would normally consider to be geeks or anything, so banish the thought from your head. BANISH IT.) Since then, we've been doing little else. Really, the other people in the building are wondering what the hell happened to the entire 6th floor; "Where is the 6th floor?" they say as they sit around doing nothing in the lobby all day. "We've got people here from every floor but that one." It's because our women are busy baking (seriously) and all the guys are playing Starcraft over the school network. My whiteboard is currently inhabited by a running scoreboard, and every other board in the hall is covered in scrawled drawings of futuristic war machines and alien terrors.

Glorious.

In other news, I'm getting a little more into improv. I joined the Agents just because someone approached me with a mailing list, and since I "have laughed in the past, are laughing now, or plan to laugh in the future", I qualified to sign up. I didn;t go to any meetings since improv? Not my thing. But I happened to run into someone on their way to a meeting, tagged along, and laughed harder than I ever have in my life.

So I kept going to meetings, participated a little, and really enjoyed myself. So people ask if any new people want to learn some basics? of course I go. I could see myself getting at least good enough to perform in the free shows we put on monthly. I find it a little weird that I tend to get on better with these theater-type people than with the video game geeks. I felt a little threatened when with the VGA, as though I constantly had to prove my geekiness lest I be shunned as an outsider. Maybe I'm not quite as geeky as I thought. Oh well.

Last news: Dimitri Martin is a very funny guy. He performed here tonight, and it was an enjoyable experience. He made a song about one of the Agents members who was working the show. Pretty great.

EDIT:
An important note:
If I got a million dollars, I would probably spend most of it on geeky tee-shirts. Only then would I remember that rather expensive movie we're making. DAMMIT.

EDIT #2

Handlebar Moustaches!

Okay, dig it. I like to write, Alex likes to write. We've been trying, off and on, to pull something together for probably 6 years now. It started with Nowhere, which was a delightfully hilarious fantasy story, but it was a premise made for middle schoolers. Which we were, so it was ok. Now that we're big bad college students, we're got a new one going, and it
is
Fucking
AMAZING.

Here's the deal.

An Orange For William is the story of an extremely British expedition of olden days to an uncharted island. I don't want to say much more, other than that we love olden-times British people, and we have faith in their potential for hilarity. The characters are something only two crazy people with a fondness for off-beat humor and access to psychotropic drugs could create. Combine that with our idea of adventurous encounters with the unknown, and you've got something amazing.

The best part is, it's really happening. We've got the whole story planned out (Nowhere has nothing but the most primitive of a plotline, which would be one reason it died), and we've already begun writing this, our crowning achievement (or was that Bleach? hard to keep track these days).

You know what's even better? Publishing companies be damned! Why go through all the bother of getting signed when you can just publish it yourself? We hope to have this mother available for purchase online in only three months, but don't hold us to it. Still, the odds are good that you can have it in your hands before Bleach. Funny how that works.

And there's one thing that just takes the cake: since we just happen to have all this fancy sound equipment lying around from Bleach, why not create a book on CD? Narrated by none other than Alex and Myself, and perhaps a few actors from Bleach for their stellar voices. Excited yet?!?!

If not, just you wait.

Flicker flicker, intermission is at an end

Lots of stuff happened this past weekend. Very little of it was Bleach-related, but you should still care. Believe me, you should care. I shall explain why...in a bit.

First off: Played Halo 3, at long, long last. Hot damn! An amazing ending (or IS IT?!) to a classic scifi series. And that's all I have to say about that.

Next: Saturday evening found us (Alex, Aneta and myself) once again in Barnes and Noble, about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime. Woohoo!

With Bleach in the wrapping-up stage, we've begun to move on to a new project. We're doing it correctly this time. Be afraid.

Bleach was a spur of the moment thing: conceived in June of this year, Alex and Aneta's twisted love-child of a film was entirely written, filmed, and edited in 4 months (June-September is 4 months. I learned that in school!). We filmed when the actors had days off from work. It did not have a script. It did not have a budget. It had a cast made of our closest high school friends. Fun, yes, and effective, but decidedly unprofessional. It's a film by high school students.

Our new film (yet untitled) is slated to be filmed in 2010. Aneta has two years to write/rewrite/rerewrite/perfect the script; filming will take three weeks (working all day, every day, for those 3 weeks); editing will go on through our senior year in college. It WILL have a script. It WILL have a budget of approximately $50,000 (more on this later- keep in mind that you're reading the producer's blog. Much bitching will undoubtedly occur). It will have a cast of paid actors (with actual acting experience!). The bottom line is that we're being very, very professional here. It's a film by college students, directed by a genuine film major.

Holy crap, it's gonna be big!

Of course, that means we actually have to do shit now.

• I was given the title of producer in Bleach because I drove people around, bought lunch once, and was around a lot of the time. Now, I have to manage a budget (of a lot of money). I have to manage a goddamn production company to keep us from getting sued and losing all the money we don't, as college students, have. I have to come up with a way of getting us $50,000 to start with. So much for the Physics degree.


• Aneta has to write a script. Bleach had no script; Aneta was given the title of writer because it was her twisted fantasies that gave way to Bleach's story. There's a big difference between telling someone your ideas and writing a whole script. Is this gonna work? Aneta says it won't be a problem, and Alex has faith, so I guess that's good enough for me.


• Alex is filling in our gaps. A good film, apparently, has 4 people at the top: 2 creative ones, and 2 money-minded ones. Since Aneta and I are one each (take a stab at which ones), he has to be two drastically different people. I think the purchase of several hats is in order: a beret and a bowler hat. He could wear them one at a time, or perhaps both at once (assuming, of course, that the effects don't cancel each other out. If that is the case, a new beret-bowler hybrid may need to be created. I don't want to play God).

So back to my part as producer. Our estimated required budget is $50,000, split up roughly into:

NEW EQUIPMENT: $10,000 (The low-quality look worked well for Bleach, but it won't for this one)
CAST: $10,000 (according to Aneta, it'll be a big cast. I just wish I could instill the fear of god into her)
EDITING: $20,000 (since we're filming in digital, Alex assures me that much converting must be done to get it festival- and DVD release-ready. This could easily go up)
OTHER: $10,000 (such as food, festival entry fees, gas, location fees, costumes, makeup, etc.)

Our supposed plan of gaining this money:
Profits from Bleach: $100
Donations: The rest of it

I spy, with my eye, something that is ENTIRELY IMPLAUSIBLE!

We have a few alternative, if not entirely dependable, methods to reduce the amount of donations needed.

1. Grants: Alex is a film major, and colleges love giving kids money to make themsleves look good. Hope?


2. Book: Alex and I came up with a FANTASTIC idea for an easy-to-write book that only we could possibly ever write. It has a great amount of appeal, so we're optimistic about raising a few hundred by selling it online. This project will serve the dual purpose of making us money and keeping us busy while we wait for Aneta to do her thang. I'll be talking about this later, I know it. (Here's a little something for the present: our title is "An Orange for William". It will be the stuff of legends)


3. Various illegal activities: proposed fundraisers have included muggings, burglary, bank robberies, and illegally collecting on property insurance. This is perhaps the most reliable source of income.

That's everything for now. Will post more as these budding projects take a little more shape.