All Your Booty Are Belong To Us

Before I say anything else, hear this:
ALEX: "I don't know calculus. I don't think that's erotic."
Bet you really want to know what we talk about, don't you?

Now, on to the SPACE PIRATES.

So I just rewatched Alien Resurrection, and I think it's a strong candidate for "Best Scifi Movie Ever". Consider these convincing points.
WARNING: serious spoilers. If you want to be surprised by one of my favorite movies, watch it RIGHT NOW, and then continue reading.

• It features SPACE PIRATES, as the good guys.


• Their ship is named the Betty.


• Ripley 8 finds the lab where they keep the horrific failed experiments that are Ripleys 1-7. Few things in movies have creeped me out more than hearing #7 gurgle "kill me". I'm all a-shiver. Wooah.


• The lab gets torched.


• They throw the usual scifi order-of-death to hell. The pirate captain (also the only one with a romantic interest!) hacks it right at the start. The random security guard with no character development (his name is Distefano! Cool!) is the last to go.


• The cripple, and the hired muscle(Ron Perlman): awesome.
  JOHNER: "If we wanna make any decent time, I say we ditch the cripple. No offense, buddy."
  VRIESS: [flips Johner the bird] "None taken!"
  
  JOHNER: "What's burning?"
  VRIESS: "Us!"
  JOHNER: "Shit! You're right!"


• The alien getting sucked out the viewport through a hole one inch in diameter: best movie death ever?


• The civilian going ape on the evil doctor, and the alien fetus busting out of his chest into the doctor's skull: second best movie death ever?


• An underwater fight scene where you could actually tell what was going on!


• A fight scene on a ladder above a tank of coolant.


• "You are...a beautiful, beautiful BUTTERFLY!"


• The general was hilarious. I don't even know why.

The only other movie vying for first place at the moment is, of course, Serenity. Is it coincidence that the two best movies of all time prominently feature space pirates? I THINK NOT.

SPACE PIRATES RULE!

WOOHOO!